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A Motherless Child…

23 Jan

womanwriterblog

A Motherless Child…

I believed and continue to believe myself to be a motherless child.  A simple family gathering where my Aunt Vina made the statement when correcting a story regarding my daddy.   She said, “No, that happen after Roy came for Ann”; then added, “Remember, she was with me until she was two years old”.  I heard her.  The truth freed a family secret; Southerners are very good at keeping secrets.  My mother unflinchingly said, “Well, it was Roy who wanted her back home, not me”.  The words cut like a knife; they would not be the last damning words to me that my mother would say.

charlotte-36-copy(This is the only picture of my mother that I have)

Questions of a lifetime were answered.  I was a tough child, strong minded, creative and resourceful; I knew how to survive.  My daddy took care of me as best he could until I was five years old; he then brought home a wonderful black lady called Aunt Francis (yes, it was the day where such names were given that today would be offensive, but I loved her) she would be my mother until I was old enough to no longer need the care a mother would give a child.  Was my mother there, of course, she was…doing her own thing.  My mother was a brilliant woman with great potential; she also had love in her heart but it was reserved for others not me.  She did not want me at birth and she did not want me the day she died.  However, that’s another story

I survived, I grew up in the tranquility of the woods that surrounded the house I lived in, I had daddy, and Aunt Vina my daddy’s sister was still in my life.  Aunt Francis taught manners and how to live with adversary; my Great-grandmother taught me how to survive in all ways.  My mother instilled fear in me.

I loved my mother with every breath I took, I remember pretending that she would put her arms around me lovingly, calling me with a voice filled with love and caring.  No, in all of my life, my mother has never put her arms around me or told me she loved me.  And, I survived it all physically, mentally is still being questioned.  Nonetheless, I flourished under those heavenly Alabama skies, I am still silent within my own loneliness, a motherless child before and after she died.

 

Note from Author:  These stories are true…there were many children in my situation, yet few continued to love their mother as I did; I have accepted the fact that it is my destiny to be alone and to be lonely.  However, writing the stories will be my gift to all who read them, I will write until the well of words dry up. 

 

 

©2017.elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

Authors Books on Line:

https://www.createspace.com/pub/simplesitesearch.search.do?sitesearch_query=ann+johnson-murphree&sitesearch_type=STORE

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/ann+johnson+murphree

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=ann+johnson-murphree

 

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14 responses to “A Motherless Child…

  1. tmezpoetry

    January 23, 2017 at 6:37 pm

    Just sending Hugs~

    Liked by 1 person

     
  2. derrickjknight

    January 24, 2017 at 11:03 am

    How awful

    Liked by 1 person

     
  3. Andrea Stephenson

    January 24, 2017 at 7:05 pm

    It’s a beautiful piece Ann, but so sad. Yet your descriptions of yourself and growing up under those skies is wonderful.

    Liked by 1 person

     
  4. george-b

    February 5, 2017 at 6:01 pm

    Your perception, I think, is real.
    I felt motherless all my life too, even though she, my mother, never left home: I missed her love, ince I was 6 months old: I remember throwing out of my crib stuffed animals, so that my grand-grand mother would pick them up, and return them to me…I alsi remember a story presented to me as a fact of my talent of working with my hands, that I recognized to be nothing else but…neglect: I had swallowed a knob of a old feroviar alarm watch, due to extended period of time I have been left without supervision…
    So yes, believe your story to be true, and an ever unforgettable experience!
    Thank you for having it shared with your readers! her attention, throughout my youth. I have been craving attention ever s

    Liked by 1 person

     
  5. george-b

    February 5, 2017 at 6:10 pm

    Your perception, I think, is real.
    I felt motherless all my life too, even though she, my mother, never left home: I missed her love, since I was 6 months old: I remember throwing out of my crib stuffed animals, so that my great-grand mother would pick them up, and return them to me…I also remember a story presented to me as a fact of my talent of working with my hands, that I recognized to be nothing else but…neglect: I had swallowed a knob of a old feroviar alarm clock, due to extended period of time I have been left without supervision…
    So yes, believe your story to be true, and an ever unforgettable experience!
    Thank you for having it shared with your readers! (Please accept this, as my edited comment to your relevant post, and scratch, please, the first version: sometimes I forget to edit before publishing!) Thank you!

    ~GeorgeB ~

    Liked by 1 person

     
  6. george-b

    February 5, 2017 at 8:28 pm

    With all my pleasure, and all my sympathy too

    Liked by 1 person

     
  7. Don MacIver, RPA, Editor, Writer, Poet, Author

    February 13, 2017 at 4:16 am

    Elizabeth Ann, this touched my heart and while it saddens me it also bathes me in inspiration. Some things in life bear no options and you have carried yourself well through it all. Though I continue to struggle to be here to engage in your wonderful words, here I am once again struck with your true life story. You have a distinct way of engaging your readers; even when there is an aspect of life that meant living without you handle the matter with grace and dignity and grew up to be your own person, shaping your own life and writing with a vigor and realness rarely found these day.

    Though your mother was sadly absent in your life, you were still surrounded with family that cared for you and nurtured your rearing. Quite a story.

    Liked by 1 person

     
    • elizabeth ann johnson-murphree

      February 13, 2017 at 4:24 pm

      Thank you so much, your comment meant more to me than you will ever know; and yes my life has brought me to this point with dignity. You and others inspire me to continue my path in writing. I know longer feel the need to skirt the truth, and although as a writer some a “faction”…a necessary tool when writing a story you want to be fiction. Thank you again, Ann

      Like

       
      • Don MacIver, RPA, Editor, Writer, Poet, Author

        February 13, 2017 at 5:43 pm

        You’re most welcome Ann. With such forthright reflection on a deeply personal life circumstance you will surely help many others in similar situations. Your words serve to enrich every reader’s perspective regardless of having been there themselves.

        This is the beauty and bounty of writing and being able to reach such a potentially broad audience online. It can be a double-edged sword as we sit in the comfort and privacy of our home in its writing yet once we hit ‘Enter’ it’s out there for the world to see. Perhaps most important of all, the cathartic release of raw emotions that we tend to harbor ‘beneath the surface.’ Bless your heart, Ann, for you foster change…positive change and the knowing that it’s perfectly ok to share such matters openly. ‘Til we meet again…

        Liked by 1 person

         
 
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