Recently in researching information for my own life story, I ran across a term called FPP or Fantasy Prone Personality. A personality trait in which a person experiences a lifelong extensive and deep involvement in fantasy. This disposition is an attempt, at least in part, to better describe “overactive imagination”. Does this apply to those of us who are writers? Yet, I believe that I can tell the difference in the fantasy world and that of reality.
It is believed by some psychologists that these traits can begin in childhood and likely to have laid the basis for fantasy proneness later in life. Yes, I was encouraged by my Aunt Vina to read when I was a child, and on most any subject that I wanted. Yes, I treated my animal friends as if they were human friends…I grew up alone. I was left alone from the time I was about three years old to fend for myself. I roamed the woods surrounding the house we lived in; and climbed the bluffs to check out the caves by the time I was six years old.
I played alone when I begin school, hiding among the tall grasses that grew around the little Priceville School. When the bell rang, I ran to class like all the other students. My childhood was one that no one would have wanted, a mother that was emotionally detached from anything or anyone other than getting ahead in life and her only child my sister. I learn to live alone and I became an expert paracosm. My childhood fantasy was very detailed and became real to me at times. There were places I would go and stay until my mother brought me back to the world of the living, the controlled living.
This life of fantasy when needed served me well; I lived many lives from child to teenager and right into a marriage arranged by my mother, to someone I had only known six weeks; my daddy had no say into anyone’s life including his own. My sister ran and never looked back! I was left to live with the fallout of her actions.
I was never much of a “daydreamer”; I am one who can create allowing me to leave a bad situation to a more calming atmosphere, such as storytelling. In checking further, I am told that I have an Avoidant personality; I suffer from anxiety but not to the extreme. I fear rejection, but I rationalize then avoid them when possible. I would like to live in a social world; nonetheless, I chose to live in my own world alone. I am frequently depressed, but I have a great sense of confidence.
I guess I would fall under all of the negative and the positive things that give me the ability to create a story, a poem; or paint a beautiful landscape. When all is said and done, I am just me, an artist, and a writer, now go enjoy your Holiday and leave me in my own fantasy world.
Books at Amazon.com by Elizabeth Ann Johnson-Murphree